This just in from the “World’s Best Conspiracy Therory” department:
Have you heard of Halliburton‘s devious plan for patenting patent litigation itself? I recently read about it on BoingBoing.net. Make sure to check out that post, otherwise the following revelation will not make much sense.
What I say now comes from inside sources: Watch for the Halliburton / Microsoft connection. Halliburton and Microsoft have some sort of secret deal going on, or one is about to buy the other. That way, ether Microsoft or “MicroBurton” will not only have a million stupid software patents, but a patent on patent lawsuits.
MicroBurton will finally make good on all those “Open Source infringement” threats, which will mean the end of legal, non MicroBurton-worshiping Linux (though Linux surely cannot be stopped). And for all you Mac fanboys out there, don’t think you are out of the hot water. If the Linux kernel itself has a crapload of supposed infringements, and Linux and BSD are quite similar, then don’t you think that OSX (which is BSD based) has code in it infringing MicroBurton patents as well?
Welcome to the future 
P.S.
My inside source requested to remain anonymous, due to fear of Gitmo. Therefore I cannot back up any of the revilations in this post, but you know them to be true!